And once again, Loss comes to greet me. "Hello", she says, when I suddenly notice her standing behind the door I carefully open. Her body is cloudy, diaphanous - she herself almost a ghost. Her eyes are the only part that can be seem, of a shiny black color, like black ink in white paper. Fascinating, they are. She comes in without asking for permission. _I've been avoiding you..._ I weakly protest. _I know. You always are. She looks around the house and touches objects, things that remind me of someone lost. Her cold breath spreads white steam. She stands in front of the mirror. _I didn't always look like this. _How were you, before? She suddenly changes into a little girl, blond braidings and vivid expression. Than turns into a teenage boy, black messy hair covering his eyes and a cigarette. She than become an old gentleman, all wrinkles and weak hands... _You are every single loss in this world._ I finally understand. She goes back to her old form, in si...
I wish they had told me how hard it was to be young. I wish I had learned in school about this sad phase of uncertainty that was going to taint me if I chose the road less traveled by. If I didn't get into uni like many of the others, if I breathed in and out instead of just rushing with life without even breathing as I would have done otherwise. I wish I knew how bitter uncertainty would taste so that I could be prepared, so that I could know it's a passing phase and all. I don't really believe my future is dark but I have no real proof I'm on the right track, and if I could only find an indication of that. I have no idea what to do with myself in order to be useful, to become a productive citizen of life and the world and not simply a mediocre working ant, I want to produce yes but not for the system, I won't work for capitalism or the government, I want to work for people for my community my elders my children things that I believe in, I want to serve happiness.
A UWC abriu a minha vida para uma tonelada de cores e estampas que antes não eram. Encheu meu feed de notícias com recados dos quatro cantos do mundo, com lutas de grupos que eu não sabia da existência, com fotos do mundo inteiro e cantares que não são os meus. Encheu de ritmos de outras terras, de olhos escuros profundos e olhos azuis translúcidos, de verde das árvores tropicais e de marrom e branco das montanhas. Encheu minhas mãos de texturas, esfregou meus pés com a terra áspera dos vales no outono, com a fragilidade quebradiça de folhas amarelas que as árvores, em sua não-necessidade, devolvem ao solo para enfeite das ruas da cidade. A UWC me deu um pôr-do-sol cor de rosa e as nuvens flutuantes sob o azul do céu de verão em Dilijan. Me deu um senso de continuidade: cruzar a escola toda manhã e ver a montanha mudando, as árvores se vestindo de verde, depois amarelo, laranja, vermelho, despindo-se em marrom, vestindo-se brancas de gelo, até que lentamente a neve derrete e elas se v...
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